How To: Train your cat to behave

Here's the thing—dogs will do things just to please you. But cats want to know what's in it for them. Learn how to train a cat.

You Will Need:

* The patience of Job
* Consistency
* Food treats
* Spray bottle of water
* A scratching post
* Bubble wrap, sticky paper, or aluminum foil (optional)

Step 1: Stock up on treats
Stock up on treats: The first rule of cat training is that Kitty isn't going to do a darn thing you say unless you reward her with something tasty.

Step 2: Be consistent
Be consistent. If you don't want your cat sleeping with you, then you're going to have to put up with several sleepless nights listening to her pathetic mewing until she learns that you are immune to her ploys for pity.

Step 3: Get a water bottle
Fill a spray bottle with water and give her a little squirt when she's misbehaving. The key is to spray her only when you catch her in the act. Otherwise, she'll just think you're sadistic.

Step 4: Redirect her
Redirect your cat when she's tearing up your furniture by picking her up and placing her paws on a scratching post. Give her a treat if she starts pawing it.
*Tip: Train a cat to stay off your furniture by placing bubble wrap on it; the loud noise will frighten her off. In the unlikely event she enjoys the popping noises her claws make, try sticky paper or aluminum foil.

Step 5: Give Kitty quality time
Give your cat quality time each and every day. Cats mostly get into mischief when they're bored and/or angry with you for ignoring them. Give them plenty of attention, and they won't try to get it by chewing up your favorite slingbacks.

*Fact: Inappropriate elimination (that is, not using the litter box) is the most frequent complaint of cat owners.